Review: The Gay Disciple by John Henson

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Finding Your Own True Myth - The Myth of the Great Secret III

FINDING YOUR OWN TRUE MYTH: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell: The Myth of the Great Secret III

Gay Spirituality

GAY SPIRITUALITY: The Role of Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness

Gay Perspective

GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our Homosexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe

Secret Matter

SECRET MATTER, a sci-fi novel with wonderful "aliens" with an Afterword by Mark Jordan

Getting Life

GETTING LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE:  A Fantastical Gay Romance set in two different time periods

The Fourth Quill

THE FOURTH QUILL, a novel about attitudinal healing and the problem of evil

Two Spirits
TWO SPIRITS: A Story of Life with the Navajo, a collaboration with Walter L. Williams

charmed lives
CHARMED LIVES: Spinning Straw into Gold: GaySpirit in Storytelling, a collaboration with Steve Berman and some 30 other writers

Myth of the Great Secret

THE MYTH OF THE GREAT SECRET: An Appreciation of Joseph Campbell

In Search of God


Unpublished manuscripts

About ordering

Books on Gay Spirituality:

White Crane Gay Spirituality Series

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  Toby has done five podcasts with Harry Faddis for The Quest of Life

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  Articles and Excerpts:

Review of Samuel Avery's The Dimensional Structure of Consciousness

Funny Coincidence: "Aliens Settle in San Francisco"

About Liberty Books, the Lesbian/Gay Bookstore for Austin, 1986-1996

The Simple Answer to the Gay Marriage Debate

A Bifurcation of Gay Spirituality

Why gay people should NOT Marry

The Scriptural Basis for Same Sex Marriage

Toby and Kip Get Married

Wedding Cake Liberation

Gay Marriage in Texas

What's ironic

Shame on the American People

The "highest form of love"

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Gay Consciousness

Why homosexuality is a sin

The cause of homosexuality

The origins of homophobia

Q&A about Jungian ideas in gay consciousness

What is homosexuality?

What is Gay Spirituality?

My three messages

What Jesus said about Gay Rights

Queering religion

Common Experiences Unique to Gay Men

Is there a "uniquely gay perspective"?

The purpose of homosexuality

Interview on the Nature of Homosexuality

What the Bible Says about Homosexuality

Mesosexual Ideal for Straight Men

Varieties of Gay Spirituality

Waves of Gay Liberation Activity

The Gay Succession

Wouldn’t You Like to Be Uranian?

The Reincarnation of Edward Carpenter

Why Gay Spirituality: Spirituality as Artistic Medium

Easton Mountain Retreat Center

Andrew Harvey & Spiritual Activism

The Mysticism of Andrew Harvey

The upsidedown book on MSNBC

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"It's Always About You"

The myth of the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara

Joseph Campbell's description of Avalokiteshvara

You're Not A Wave

Joseph Campbell Talks about Aging

What is Enlightenment?

What is reincarnation?

How many lifetimes in an ego?

Emptiness & Religious Ideas

Experiencing experiencing experiencing

Going into the Light

Meditations for a Funeral

Meditation Practice

The way to get to heaven

Buddha's father was right

What Anatman means

Advice to Travelers to India & Nepal

The Danda Nata & goddess Kalika

Nate Berkus is a bodhisattva

John Boswell was Immanuel Kant

Cutting edge realization

The Myth of the Wanderer

Change: Source of Suffering & of Bliss

World Navel

What the Vows Really Mean

Manifesting from the Subtle Realms

The Three-layer Cake & the Multiverse

The est Training and Personal Intention

Effective Dreaming in Ursula LeGuin's The Lathe of Heaven

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Gay Spirituality

Curious Bodies

What Toby Johnson Believes

The Joseph Campbell Connection

The Mann Ranch (& Rich Gabrielson)

Campbell & The Pre/Trans Fallacy

The Two Loves

The Nature of Religion

What's true about Religion

Being Gay is a Blessing

Drawing Long Straws

Freedom of Religion

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The Gay Agenda

Gay Saintliness

Gay Spiritual Functions

The subtle workings of the spirit in gay men's lives.

The Sinfulness of Homosexuality

Proposal for a study of gay nondualism

Priestly Sexuality

Having a Church to Leave

Harold Cole on Beauty

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Marian Doctrines: Immaculate Conception & Assumption

Not lashed to the prayer-post

Monastic or Chaste Homosexuality

Is It Time to Grow Up? Confronting the Aging Process

Notes on Licking  (July, 1984)

Redeem Orlando

Gay Consciousness changing the world by Shokti LoveStar

Alexander Renault interviews Toby Johnson

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Mystical Vision

"The Evolution of Gay Identity"

"St. John of the Cross & the Dark Night of the Soul."

Avalokiteshvara at the Baths

 Eckhart's Eye

Let Me Tell You a Secret

Religious Articulations of the Secret

The Collective Unconscious

Driving as Spiritual Practice


Historicity as Myth


No Stealing

Next Step in Evolution

The New Myth

The Moulting of the Holy Ghost

Gaia is a Bodhisattva

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The Hero's Journey

The Hero's Journey as archetype -- GSV 2016

The  Gay Hero Journey (shortened)

You're On Your Own


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Seeing Differently

Teenage Prostitution and the Nature of Evil

Allah Hu: "God is present here"

Adam and Steve

The Life is in the Blood

Gay retirement and the "freelance monastery"

Seeing with Different Eyes

Facing the Edge: AIDS as an occasion for spiritual wisdom

What are you looking for in a gay science fiction novel?

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The Vision

The mystical experience at the Servites'  Castle in Riverside

A  Most Remarkable Synchronicity in Riverside

The Great Dance according to C.S.Lewis

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The Techniques Of The World Saviors

Part 1: Brer Rabbit and the Tar-Baby

Part 2: The Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara

Part 3: Jesus and the Resurrection

Part 4: A Course in Miracles

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The Secret of the Clear Light

Understanding the Clear Light

Mobius Strip

Finding Your Tiger Face

How Gay Souls Get Reincarnated

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Joseph Campbell, the Hero's Journey, and the modern Gay Hero-- a five part presentation on YouTube

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About Alien Abduction

In honor of Sir Arthur C Clarke

Karellen was a homosexual

The D.A.F.O.D.I.L. Alliance

Intersections with the movie When We Rise

More about Gay Mental Health

Psych Tech Training

Toby at the California Institute

The Rainbow Flag

Ideas for gay mythic stories

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Kip and Toby, Activists

Toby's friend and nicknamesake Toby Marotta.

Harry Hay, Founder of the gay movement

About Hay and The New Myth

About Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, the first man to really "come out"

About Michael Talbot, gay mystic

About Fr. Bernard Lynch

About Richard Baltzell

About Guy Mannheimer

About David Weyrauch

About Dennis Paddie

About Ask the Fire

About Arthur Evans

About Christopher Larkin

About Mark Thompson

About Sterling Houston

About Michael Stevens

The Alamo Business Council

Our friend Tom Nash

Second March on Washington

The Gay Spirituality Summit in May 2004 and the "Statement of Spirituality"

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Book Reviews

Be Done on Earth by Howard E. Cook

Pay Me What I'm Worth by Souldancer

The Way Out by Christopher L  Nutter

The Gay Disciple by John Henson

Art That Dares by Kittredge Cherry

Coming Out, Coming Home by Kennth A. Burr

Extinguishing the Light by B. Alan Bourgeois

Over Coffee: A conversation For Gay Partnership & Conservative Faith by D.a. Thompson

Dark Knowledge by Kenneth Low

Janet Planet by Eleanor Lerman

The Kairos by Paul E. Hartman

Wrestling with Jesus by D.K.Maylor

Kali Rising by Rudolph Ballentine

The Missing Myth by Gilles Herrada

The Secret of the Second Coming by Howard E. Cook

The Scar Letters: A Novel by Richard Alther

The Future is Queer by Labonte & Schimel

Missing Mary by Charlene Spretnak

Gay Spirituality 101 by Joe Perez

Cut Hand: A Nineteeth Century Love Story on the American Frontier by Mark Wildyr

Radiomen by Eleanor Lerman

Nights at Rizzoli by Felice Picano

The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door by Chelsea Griffo

The Door of the Heart by Diana Finfrock Farrar

Occam’s Razor by David Duncan

Grace and Demion by Mel White

Gay Men and The New Way Forward by Raymond L. Rigoglioso

The Dimensional Stucture of Consciousness by Samuel Avery

The Manly Pursuit of Desire and Love by Perry Brass

Love Together: Longtime Male Couples on Healthy Intimacy and Communication by Tim Clausen

War Between Materialism and Spiritual by Jean-Michel Bitar

The Serpent's Gift: Gnostic Reflections on the Study of Religion by Jeffrey J. Kripal

Esalen: America and the Religion of No Religion by Jeffrey J. Kripal

The Invitation to Love by Darren Pierre

Brain, Consciousness, and God: A Lonerganian Integration by Daniel A Helminiak

A Walk with Four Spiritual Guides by Andrew Harvey

Can Christians Be Saved? by Stephenson & Rhodes

The Lost Secrets of the Ancient Mystery Schools by Stephenson & Rhodes

Keys to Spiritual Being: Energy Meditation and Synchronization Exercises by Adrian Ravarour

In Walt We Trust by John Marsh

Solomon's Tantric Song by Rollan McCleary

A Special Illumination by Rollan McCleary

Aelred's Sin by Lawrence Scott

Fruit Basket by Payam Ghassemlou

Internal Landscapes by John Ollom

Princes & Pumpkins by David Hatfield Sparks

Yes by Brad Boney

Blood of the Goddess by William Schindler

Roads of Excess, Palaces of Wisdom by Jeffrey Kripal

Evolving Dharma by Jay Michaelson

Jesus in Salome's Lot by Brett W. Gillette

The Man Who Loved Birds by Fenton Johnson

The Vatican Murders by Lucien Gregoire

"Sex Camp" by Brian McNaught

Out & About with Brewer & Berg
Episode One: Searching for a New Mythology

The Soul Beneath the Skin by David Nimmons

Out on Holy Ground by Donald Boisvert

The Revotutionary Psychology of Gay-Centeredness by Mitch Walker

Out There by Perry Brass

The Crucifixion of Hyacinth by Geoff Puterbaugh

The Silence of Sodom by Mark D Jordan

It's Never About What It's About by Krandall Kraus and Paul Borja

ReCreations, edited by Catherine Lake

Gospel: A Novel by WIlton Barnhard

Keeping Faith: A Skeptic’s Journey by Fenton Johnson

Dating the Greek Gods
by Brad Gooch

Telling Truths in Church by Mark D. Jordan

The Substance of God by Perry Brass

The Tomcat Chronicles by Jack Nichols

10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives by Joe Kort

Jesus and the Shamanic Tradition of Same Sex Love by Will Roscoe

The Third Appearance by Walter Starcke

The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight by Thom Hartmann

Surviving and Thriving After a Life-Threatening Diagnosis by Bev Hall

Men, Homosexuality, and the Gods by Ronald Long

An Interview with Ron Long

Queering Creole Spiritual Traditons by Randy Conner & David Sparks

An Interview with Randy Conner

Pain, Sex and Time by Gerald Heard

Sex and the Sacred by Daniel Helminiak

Blessing Same-Sex Unions by Mark Jordan

Rising Up by Joe Perez

Soulfully Gay by Joe Perez

That Undeniable Longing by Mark Tedesco

Vintage: A Ghost Story by Steve Berman

Wisdom for the Soul by Larry Chang

MM4M a DVD by Bruce Grether

Double Cross by David Ranan

The Transcended Christian by Daniel Helminiak

Jesus in Love by Kittredge Cherry

In the Eye of the Storm by Gene Robinson

The Starry Dynamo by Sven Davisson

Life in Paradox by Fr Paul Murray

Spirituality for Our Global Community by Daniel Helminiak

Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society by Robert A. Minor

Coming Out: Irish Gay Experiences by Glen O'Brien

Queering Christ by Robert Goss

Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage

The Flesh of the Word by Richard A Rosato

Catland by David Garrett Izzo

Tantra for Gay Men by Bruce Anderson

Yoga & the Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main

Simple Grace by Malcolm Boyd

Seventy Times Seven by Salvatore Sapienza

What Does "Queer" Mean Anyway? by Chris Bartlett

Critique of Patriarchal Reasoning by Arthur Evans

Gift of the Soul by Dale Colclasure & David Jensen

Legend of the Raibow Warriors by Steven McFadden

The Liar's Prayer by Gregory Flood

Lovely are the Messengers by Daniel Plasman

The Human Core of Spirituality by Daniel Helminiak

3001: The Final Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

Religion and the Human Sciences by Daniel Helminiak

Only the Good Parts by Daniel Curzon

Four Short Reviews of Books with a Message

Life Interrupted by Michael Parise

Confessions of a Murdered Pope by Lucien Gregoire

The Stargazer's Embassy by Eleanor Lerman

Conscious Living, Conscious Aging by Ron Pevny

Footprints Through the Desert by Joshua Kauffman

True Religion by J.L. Weinberg

The Mediterranean Universe by John Newmeyer

Everything is God by Jay Michaelson

Reflection by Dennis Merritt

Everywhere Home by Fenton Johnson

Hard Lesson by James Gaston

God vs Gay? by Jay Michaelson

The Gate of Tears: Sadness and the Spiritual Path by Jay Michaelson

Roxie & Fred by Richard Alther

Not the Son He Expected by Tim Clausen

The 9 Realities of Stardust by Bruce P. Grether

The Afterlife Revolution by Anne & Whitley Strieber

AIDS Shaman: Queer Spirit Awakening by Shokti Lovestar

Facing the Truth of Your Life by Merle Yost

The Super Natural by Whitley Strieber & Jeffrey J Kripal

Secret Body by Jeffrey J Kripal

In Hitler's House by Jonathan Lane

Walking on Glory by Edward Swift

The Paradox of Porn by Don Shewey

Is Heaven for Real? by Lucien Gregoire

Enigma by Lloyd Meeker

Scissors, Paper, Rock by Fenton Johnson

Toby Johnson's Books on Gay Men's Spiritualities:

Perspective cover
Gay Perspective

Things Our [Homo]sexuality
Tells Us about the
Nature of God and
the Universe

Gay Perspective audiobook
Gay Perspective is available as an audiobook narrated by Matthew Whitfield. Click here

Spirituality cover
Gay Spirituality

Gay Identity and 
the Transformation of
Human Consciousness

Gay Spirituality   is now available as an audiobook, beautifully narrated by John Sipple. Click here

charmed lives
Charmed Lives: Gay Spirit in Storytelling

edited by
Toby Johnson
& Steve Berman

secret matter
Secret Matter

Lammy Award Winner for Gay Science Fiction


Getting Life
Getting Life in Perspective

A Fantastical Romance

Life in Perspective audiobook
Getting Life in Perspective is available as an audiobook narrated by Alex Beckham. Click here 

The Fourth Quill

The Fourth Quill

originally published as PLAGUE

The Fourth Quill is available as an audiobook, narrated by Jimmie Moreland. Click here

Two Spirits: A Story of Life with the Navajo

with Walter L. Williams

Two Spirits
audiobookTwo Spirits  is available as an audiobook  narrated by Arthur Raymond. Click here

Finding Your Own True Myth - The Myth of the Great Secret III
Finding Your Own True Myth:
What I Learned from Joseph Campbell

The Myth of the Great Secret III

Search of God in the Sexual Underworld
In Search of God  in the Sexual Underworld

The Myth of the Great Secret II

The Myth of the Great Secret: An Appreciation of Joseph Campbell.

This was the second edition of this book.

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Toby Johnson's titles are available in other ebook formats from Smashwords.

A Naturally Gay Literary Genre

the gay disciple by john hensonThe Gay Disciple:
Jesus’ friend tells it his own way

John Henson

O Books, paperback, 152 pages, $8.77
ISBN 1-84694-001-X

Available from

The Gay Disciple: Jesus' Friend Tells It His Own Way

Reviewed by Toby Johnson

“The Life of Christ” is, in itself, a literary genre. Authors down through time, starting with the gospel writers themselves, have used the story of Jesus of Nazareth as a template for conveying the various threads of spiritual wisdom, morality, and social structure that is called Christianity according to their own personal interpretations and intuitions. The basic story of Jesus’s life is well established—by traditional belief if not by actual historical evidence. Thus one thrust of the genre these days, made possible by modern scientific research techniques, tries to describe Jesus’s life as it actually was. Another thrust—and this is the one the evangelists themselves were part of—tries only to convey the message and the spiritual experience of the author; this thrust deals with historicity rather cavalierly.

In the last few years, perhaps encouraged by the success of Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code, a new generation of writers have been inspired to reimagine and retell the story of Jesus with a whole new feminist and modernist sensibility. The very idea that the gospels are more poetry than history is itself a distinctly modernist insight.

Besides the highly promoted life of Christ by Anne Rice, the gay-popular horror writer and mother of a gay son, three gay sensitive lives of Christ have passed across my desk in the past year.

Retired MCC lesbian minister Kittredge Cherry tells the story in the first person of Jesus—a daring perspective!—in a book with a daring title: Jesus in Love. Taking the myth motif of Jesus as the Incarnation of the Second Person of the Trinity literally, Cherry portrays him, paradoxically and enlighteningly, as fully conscious of being God and as being a regular guy and a modern, psychologically sophisticated and sexually aware ego-person. Cherry’s Jesus is remarkable; by portraying him as having an inner erotic life (with some mind-blowing fantasies if ever there were), the author is able to articulate a wholesome Christian spirituality of sex.

University of Southern California anthropology professor and longtime director of L.A.’s ONE Institute Center, Walter L. Williams, has written a life of Christ called The Teachings of Jesus. Williams is author of the book The Spirit and the Flesh which first piqued gay America’s interest in shamanistic two-spirit tradition in Native American cultures—and my collaborator last year on the novel Two Spirits: A Story of Life With the Navajo. Williams’ book, similar to Thomas Jefferson’s effort in the so-called “Jefferson’s Bible,” paraphrases and interweaves the stories of the four gospels in order to extract the philosophy and spiritual teaching of Jesus. Williams brings a Buddhist perspective to the telling, so his Jesus comes across, like Buddha, as a wise teacher, not an incarnate God. Williams’ expression of Jesus’s message is gay-sensitive and modernly sensible.

John Henson, a Welsh progressive Christian minister and school teacher, and though heterosexually married with three children and nine grandchildren, a longtime activist with the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement in England, has taken an entirely different tack in The Gay Disciple: Jesus’ friend tells it his own way. Henson has imagined the story of Jesus’s life from the perspective of minor characters in the New Testament, what might be called the “back story” of Jesus and his friends. He thus insightfully invents some plot twists.

The woman disciple in the New Testament called Salome, for instance, Henson reveals was indeed the dancing princess who’d called for the head of John the Baptist but who then experienced a conversion and became a follower. The “Gethsemani Streaker” mentioned in passing in the Gospel of Mark was the young son of the couple who ran The Phoenix Hotel and Bar where Jesus and his friends rented a second floor party room for their Passover gathering. The boy had waited tables the night of the Last Supper and was so excited from meeting Jesus he couldn’t sleep; so when he saw the torches of the soldiers coming toward the gardens on Olive Hill where the party guests had gone walking, wrapped himself in a sheet and ran out to see what was going on. (He shows up again in a couple of pleasantly surprising roles, but I won’t ruin the surprise by saying any more in this review.)
Also telling their side of the story are: Zaccheus, the tax collector Jesus befriended; Veronica, the woman who wiped Jesus’s face with her veil on his way to his death who turns out to have been the woman accused of adultery whom he forgave with his famous words about the first stone; Mary the sister of Lazarus who reveals she was actually the basis of the story of the Prodigal Son; Clopas, the husband of Jesus’s mother’s younger sister, also named Mary, who was also at the crucifixion, who tells that he was one of the disciples to whom Jesus appeared on the way to Emmatown the night after the Resurrection. The book takes its name from the longest of these accounts, that by a character cobbled together out of several Biblical references, who is identified as Lazarus.

This man who has become Jesus’s close friend and who is raised from the dead by Jesus is revealed to have been the “rich young man” to whom Jesus says “Sell all that you have and give to the poor, and come, follow me.” In Lazarus’s account, the reader learns that though he had at first turned away because he was afraid of losing his fortune, he soon had second thoughts—and a rush of infatuation—and came back to accept Jesus’s invitation. He sells off a major portion of his inheritance, including an olive and date farm called Dategrove, in order to finance Jesus’s first social service projects. Jesus wisely tells him to retain some of the property so they’ll have place for the disciples to all live communally and to provide housing for homeless lepers.

Henson’s stories of the New Testament are remarkable because of their tone of voice and the “translation” of biblical language into modern, everyday lingo. This is exemplified in the characters’ names. Lazarus goes by the nickname Larry, Peter is called Rocky, Salome is Sally, Zaccheus is Keith, Clopas Clover, Mary Magdalene Maggie, and the Blessed Mother is Mam.

Larry Dategrove is “liberated” and consciously homosexual, though he doesn’t use that word, but simply says he wasn’t interest in marrying, had no feelings for the opposite sex and didn’t find that a problem. He’s the “gay disciple” and he’s the disciple Jesus loved, though it is never clear how sexual the relationship is between them. But he’s the “spouse” who stays home to mind the house and farm while Jesus is out teaching and traveling and who takes care of Mam after Jesus’s passing.

There is a down-to-earth realism in how John Henson’s multiplicity of voices recount their stories about Jesus. This is maybe what the original gospels would have sounded like to native speakers. While The Gay Disciple is a reimagining of the New Testament stories, it’s more about the development of the early church out of his friends’ fond memories than it is about Jesus’s life (the crucifixion happens in chapter three).

The title of the book is reminiscent of Theodore Jennings’ The Man Jesus Loved with its analysis of sexual patterns in gospel times to elucidate what the expression “beloved disciple” could have actually meant. But this is really an entirely different sort of book. The “gay message” of Henson’s story is less about Jesus’s orientation than about how naturally the Christian reform would have included sexually liberated and gender variant men and women.

Current day Fundamentalism and Biblical literalism have turned the story of Jesus to stone. But beyond the Bible, this story of the insightful young man who saw through religion and got himself murdered by the Church of his day because he told people doctrine and law didn’t matter as much as love and kindness remains a rich and meaningful story. The “Lives of Christ” as literary genre enrich this wisdom and apply it to contemporary realities. Though they certainly can’t get themselves added to the canon of Scripture anymore, the writers mentioned above—Kittredge Cherry, Walter Williams, John Henson, even Anne Rice—are doing what religion is really about: recreating the myth for their own times. Gay consciousness is now part of human consciousness and naturally recapitulates Jesus’s teaching that love and compassion trump religion and law. It’s good that the Jesus story be written to include gay experience. The Life of Christ is an appropriate subset of gay literary genre.

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Toby Johnson, PhD is author of nine books: three non-fiction books that apply the wisdom of his teacher and "wise old man," Joseph Campbell to modern-day social and religious problems, four gay genre novels that dramatize spiritual issues at the heart of gay identity, and two books on gay men's spiritualities and the mystical experience of homosexuality and editor of a collection of "myths" of gay men's consciousness. 

Johnson's book GAY SPIRITUALITY: The Role of Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness won a Lambda Literary Award in 2000.

His  GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our [Homo]sexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe was nominated for a Lammy in 2003. They remain in print.

FINDING YOUR OWN TRUE MYTH: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell: The Myth of the Great Secret III tells the story of Johnson's learning the real nature of religion and myth and discovering the spiritual qualities of gay male consciousness.

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