Table of Contents
Also on this website:
TWO SPIRITS: A Story of Life with the
Navajo, a collaboration with Walter L. Williams
SPIRITUALITY: The Role of
Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness
Things Our Homosexuality Tells Us about the Nature
of God and the Universe
MATTER: updated, revised & expanded edtion from Lethe Press
with Afterword by Mark Jordan
LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE
A NOVEL ABOUT HEALING.
CHARMED LIVES: Spinning Straw into
Gold: Reclaiming Our Queer Spirituality Through Story
Books on Gay Spirituality:
Toby's review of Samuel Avery's The
Dimensional Structure of
Coincidence: "Aliens Settle in San
Simple Answer to the Gay Marriage Debate
A Bifurcation of Gay Spirituality
Why gay people should NOT Marry
Wedding Cake Liberation
Gay Marriage in Texas
Shame on the American People
The "highest form of love"
cause of homosexuality
The origins of homophobia
Q&A about Jungian ideas in gay consciousness
What is homosexuality?
is Gay Spirituality?
My three messages
What Jesus said about Gay
The purpose of homosexuality
Interview on the Nature of
What the Bible Says about
Mesosexual Ideal for Straight Men
of Gay Spirituality
of Gay Liberation Activity
Why Gay Spirituality: Spirituality
as Artistic Medium
Easton Mountain Retreat Center
Andrew Harvey &
"It's Always About You"
The myth of the
Joseph Campbell's description of
Not A Wave
What is Enlightenment?
What is reincarnation?
Emptiness & Religious Ideas
Experiencing experiencing experiencing
Going into the Light
Meditations for a Funeral
The way to get to heaven
Advice to Travelers to India
Nate Berkus is a bodhisattva
John Boswell was Immanuel Kant
Toby Johnson Believes
The Joseph Campbell Connection
Campbell & The Pre/Trans Fallacy
The Nature of Religion
Gay is a Blessing
Gay Spiritual Functions
The subtle workings of the spirit in gay men's lives.
The Sinfulness of
for a study of gay nondualism
Marian Doctrines: Immaculate Conception & Assumption
"The Evolution of Gay Identity"
"St. John of the
Dark Night of the Soul."
Avalokiteshvara at the Baths.
Let Me Tell You a Secret
Religious Articulations of the
The Collective Unconscious
Driving as Spiritual Practice
Step in Evolution
The New Myth
Prostitution and the Nature of Evil
Hu: "God is present here"
The Life is in the Blood
retirement and the "freelance monastery"
Seeing with Different Eyes
are you looking for in a gay science fiction novel?
experience at the Servites' Castle in Riverside
Great Dance according to C.S.Lewis
The Techniques Of The World Saviors
Part 1: Brer Rabbit and the
Part 2: The
Part 3: Jesus
and the Resurrection
Part 4: A
Course in Miracles
Secret of the Clear Light
Understanding the Clear Light
Souls Get Reincarnated
About Alien Abduction
In honor of Sir Arthur C Clarke
Karellen was a homosexual
about Gay Mental Health
Ideas for gay mythic stories
and nicknamesake Toby Marotta.
Harry Hay, Founder of the gay movement
About Hay and The New Myth
About Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, the first man to really "come out"
Michael Talbot, gay mystic
About Guy Mannheimer
About Dennis Paddie
About Arthur Evans
About Christopher Larkin
About Sterling Houston
About Michael Stevens
Our friend Tom Nash
Second March on
After visiting this page, please take a look at Lethe Press/White Crane Books.
This is the publisher Toby Johnson now works with. We have a wonderful selection of titles.
reason for society to legalize and encourage gay marriage is that it
would reduce the spread of AIDS, cut-down on society's health
costs, and help gay people live longer and more contributing, healthy
simplest answer to the same-sex marriage
issue is to loosen the use of the term "married" so it's equivalent
to "coupled," rather than to "legally contracted."
Then people who want to be married only need call themselves married to
be accorded the various respects and honors and benefits that go with
The so-called "activist
judges" were simply intelligent jurists who saw that American
Constitutional democracy doesn't allow for religious-based
discrimination. But it's too bad they framed the issue
as the right to marry, instead of as
the similarity between gay relationships and traditional "common law
We wouldn't have the legal fight we have now if what they'd
said is that gay relationships that look like marriages, like common
law unions, should be recognized as genuine, voluntarily entered into,
human bonds and respected accordingly.
That's really how we use the term "married" in gay life anyway. People
speak of themselves as being married in the sense of having a stable
romantic partner even though the legal standing doesn't really apply.
Of course, there would be times and situations
where things needed to
have been more legally specified, times when property and money were
disputed over, or inheritances passed on. But those should be handled
in legal contracts anyway.
Besides, the loose term "married" shouldn't have
to imply so many contractual obligations and agreements. That it does
is what requires the creation of another kind of legal contract: the
"pre-nup" in which married people renounce or deny one another the
contractual agreements of marriage!
It's ironic that the forces that want to prevent gay people from
marrying don't see these so-called "prenuptual agreements" as, by far,
the greater threat to tradaitional marriage.
The reality is: "married" just means "coupled." Who knows who's legally
married to whom? Who asks to see marriage licenses to prove couples are
What difference does it make?
Let us accord one
another respect for the intimate, meaning-giving relationship in our
lives. Human beings "tend to come in pairs." We're intimacy-seeking
beings. Coupling with another person for companionship and especially
physical intimacy with one another (which is what the term "married"
most implies) is part of our experience of creating our worlds. We
literally create our lives by having somebody else to talk with about
and share the experience with. (Of course, not all of us seem to need
that kind of partnership. Lots of us are loners.)
Why Gay People SHOULD Get Married
Coupling, especially when it's recognized and
celebrated by friends and
associates--as happens in a regular ceremony of Marriage or Holy Union,
gives people a sense of safety and security in their most intimate
Coupling tends naturally towards monogamy, and alleviates
the continual sexual pressures of promiscuity. In that sense, coupling
is good for one's physical health AND one's mental health. Coupling in
the gay world is one of the simplest protections from the dangers of
Why Gay People Should NOT Get Married
Gay relationships are qualitatively different from straight
relationships. We understand sex differently; we have a different model
for what our partners means to us and their places in our lives. The
fundamental model of marriage that most heterosexuals embrace--and
famously proclaim as "family values"--just doesn't apply to us. And we
shouldn't want it to.
Heterosexual marriage is based around the emotional attractions of the
opposite poles of the male-female polarity. This is about the
complementarity of the organs of reproduction. The emotional bonding of
man and woman fills the missing half of each in order to create the one
whole being which then gives birth to new life. Heterosexual marriage
is about bonding at the level of reproduction and subsequent creation
of a nest and household in which to raise children.
The model of the family is traditionally hierarchical and structured.
The male and female partners have roles specified for them by their
sexual function in the relationship.
Gay relationships are not based on this kind of
attraction at all.
Sexual attraction is not about the complementarity of the physical
organs. Gay people don't have sex in order to complete a bio-hormonal
process. Our sex is not about glands and organs.
Gay people don't see their partners as "other
halves,"with body parts and traits
and gender-defined roles that complete them.
From a purely functionalist perspective (like that, say, of St.
Augustine), then gay sex has no function; and even straight sex should
be entered into only for the purpose of fertilizing the egg in the
female and done in a way that gives the minimally necessary amount of
pleasure for the male to perform his function.
But then that's missing the point of what sex is as a state of
consciousness. Even for straight people, sex is mostly about pleasure
and neurodynamics in the brain.
It's those neurodynamics that gay sex witnesses to.
Our sex is about sharing that pleasure with another body, because the
presence of another body (either in reality or in imagination) is what
gets those processes in consciousness
Gay love and sex is about seeing one's Self in
one's partner, that is,
seeing that one's partner is an expression and manifestation of
consciousness just as one is oneself.
It's "God's" realization that
he's the consciousness in every being in the universe, for the universe
is "God" evolving into God and discovering himself in everything.
In this sense, gay relationship has mystical overtones
with the spiritual messages of almost all the world's religions that
God is the ultimate unity and harmony in the cosmos.
Jesus Christ told us to recognize his presence in everybody we meet:
"What you do to the least of these, my brothers and sisters, that you
do to me." That is, other people are "other Christs."
Avalokiteshvara (a lovely gay-resonant mythological image written about
extensively elsewhere in this website )
agreed to become every sentient being in order to save them all from
Whether we realize it or not, all of us human beings are "incarnations
of Avalokiteshvara" and "other Christs."
Heterosexual love and heterosexual sex is about bringing the
incomplete halves together to create a new being which, in turns, gives
birth to yet a new sentient being.
Homosexual love and homosexual sex is about seeing that all of us
sentient beings are
incarnations of that One Being--Christ, Avalokiteshvara, Gaia,
Dharmakaya, Yah, planet Earth, etc.
Of course, practically and legally, gay couples
need legal protections.
That's why marriage rights need to include us.
But we MUST BEWARE confusing our relationships
relationships. They really are NOT the same.
It's not a matter of one being better than the other, but of the model
of relationship and interpersonal interaction being different.
Of course, in a free society everybody should be able to do what they
want with their lives so long as they don't hurt other people. It's a
violation of human freedom for one set of people to impose their will
on another--especially based on something as flimsy and neurotic as
being "offended" by someone else's sexual and affectional behavior.
If gay people want to get married, they should have every right to.
It is NOT the government's business to determine how the citizens live
their personal lives.
Thus the political fight for gay marriage is
1) because it communicates to gay and lesbian teenagers
who are just
discovering their sexual orientation that true love and long-term
relationship potentially await them as adults, and
2) because the forces against gay marriage are telling
misrepresenting what gay experience actually is.
The discriminatory nature of the so-called Constitutional "Defense of
Marriage" Amendments are just hateful and discriminatory and
scapegoating. The Amendments should be defeated--if only out of
compassion and kindness, the real "Christian values."